Only the second part was included in his column, so for the archives, here's my complete entry:
[The setting: the first Tuesday in November, 2004. Roll Credits: Election 2004: You Decide: with your host Jeanne Zelasko. With analysis by Ted Kennedy and Trot Nixon. Sponsored by Viagra.]
It's the showdown of the century, the punch-card punch-out, with the defending champ Bush trying for a two-term triumph. But entering his hat in the ring is the Doctor from Vermont who wants to heal the nation and sings that the incumbent is one for The Birds. Even Alfred Hitchcock would be scared to be graded as President by the Dean of this electoral college, as soon the American People will fill out their report punch-cards to determine whether it's a Republican Double-Doublya or just a plain W for the Dems.
Will Bush turn from President to ex-Resident of the White House, or will the Governor from Vermont head home to the Green Mountains? Will the red states sing the blues for the challenger or will the winds of change blow white-hot for a new tune? One thing that won't flag, and that's Fox's star coverage of Election Night '04.